Several years ago, I went through a very difficult and uncomfortable season where the things that had worked for me spiritually in past seasons were no longer working. I found myself feeling abandoned by God, even though I knew He could not and would not ever leave me. The Father later explained to me that He was interacting with me differently than He had in past seasons, not because I was doing something wrong, but simply because I had matured. A Father does more for a baby than He does for a son who He is growing to maturity. I understood the concept but didn’t understand the objective of this spiritual classroom (and at that time didn’t even realize that it was a classroom). I desired to obey, but I had difficulty discerning what was His part and what was my part. Finally, one day, the Father said to me:
You feel abandoned by Me because you do not understand the weaning process – the process of growth and maturation. Just because I am not dealing with you as a baby does not mean I have abandoned you. And it doesn’t mean that I am no longer your Life Source. As you grow, our relationship changes – not growing apart, but enjoying deeper oneness, built upon layer after layer of foundational experiences and growth stages. You are not growing independent of Me but are becoming one with Me – as you truly already are in spirit. I step back, not to create distance between us, but so that you can grow into the fullness of our oneness. As I AM, so are you in the earth.
I began to realize that I was feeling abandoned because God was not giving me what I needed (and what I knew He wanted me to have). Through many years of walking with Him, I had experienced His faithfulness, His kindness, His goodness, His love, His power and His provision. I had been refined in His fire, therefore I knew that my desires were His desires. He could have easily done these things for me, yet He didn’t. I felt hurt because I was waiting for Him to give me something that I later realized was already mine. He, on the other hand, was waiting for me to grow into the fullness of my identity… a son of God, and one who is literally one with Him. Jesus prayed that we would be one as He and the Father are one. And we are!
I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one; I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.
–John 17:20-13, NKJV
But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
–I Corinthians 6:17, NKJV
Luke 15:11-32 tells the familiar story of a generous father and his two sons. The younger (immature) son, whom we call “the prodigal,” said to his father, “Give me what is mine” and squandered what he was unable to steward. His older brother was responsible, but he became offended because he thought his father was withholding something from him. Both sons experienced lack because of the illusion of separation. The immature son, in bondage to the self-indulgent flesh, fought for what was his, instead of realizing it was all his. The older son, in bondage to the self- righteous flesh, was disappointed because he didn’t receive a reward for his labor. We know the end of the story, so we know that the father was withholding nothing from him. Everything was already his. The older son felt disappointed and unloved because he expected the father to hand him what he already possessed! Both sons, in their own way, behaved as orphans instead of as sons who were freely, fully and generously loved.
Have you been fighting for what is already yours? Have you reached the wrong conclusion because of some-thing that has not been handed to you by the Father? Have you been waiting for Him, while all along He has been saying to you what the father in this story said to his son?
Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.
–Luke 15:31, AMP
This is an excerpt from my new book, Miracles Are Normal. To purchase a hard copy or e-book, click here: Miracles Are Normal
And remember… you were created to be miraculous!
Virginia